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Fifteen Weeks to Fabulous

What is the Difference that makes the Difference?

Exactly Two years ago to the day I QUIT SMOKING and today I TOOK UP EXERCISE! Both of these things are MASSIVE events in my life.

I have resisted exercise for years and if the truth be known it was probably because I feared not being able to breath in public and that I would look like a fool, playing in an arena where I just didn’t belong.

Today marks what I hope will be the beginning of many trips to my local gym. I have finally decided to close The GAP between the image of my ideal self that I have been attached to for years, and the self that I am actually committed to being. The best me that I can be that is.

The thing about an ideal self is that it is rarely based in reality. It is most often a concoction of images that have developed and merged over the years. Images that we have collected from the T.V. magazines and movies and subconsciously filed away as something we SHOULD be aiming for. Quite possibly if you placed all your required attributes together you would come up with one very strange alien like being.

Closing the GAP means a change in thinking about what is possible for me to achieve. It is based on what I am actually committed to, rather than what I might be capable of, if I work really really really REALLY HARD at it, and if I sacrifice many of the things I enjoy…like food! This change of thinking is a breath of fresh air, I feel alive with the possibility of creating something that will be sustainable, fun and rewarding

In Last weeks post I mentioned the success that my husband has had in the weight loss and fitness department. I mentioned that he had two things I just didn’t have (a realistic and sustainable vision of what was possible and a commitment to living rather than being thin.) But it turns out there was something else, something I just wasn’t quite ready to see just yet. Not ready, because that would mean I actually had to do something, to take some serious action, which is not the easiest thing to do when you are hell bent on resisting taking any actions at all (picture a chocolate eating couch potato here).

The Difference that makes the Difference

However all good things take time and we all have to work through stuff like this to discover our blind spots at our own speed. It took me a couple of days to work out that the third thing he had going for him, the thing that would make a real difference, was A PLAN. A plan which included stepping outside his comfort zone but with the kind of  support and structure that made a difference to it’s longevity and success. A plan which was based in real time and is measurable. His plan has seen him work with a personal trainer for over two years and when he shares his initial goal from the start of that time, it was to still be doing it in six months time, now that is a plan that is both simple and measurable! Since then his goals have shifted and become way more specific, but sustainability remains an objective and that is a goal I am willing to commit myself to also.

Where Magic Happens

The Difference that makes the Difference is A PLAN with a step outside your Comfort Zone

So …you might be curious to know … how did that first day at the gym go?

TOUGH! And GREAT! Andi (my trainer) made me sweat and hurt and I swore a fair bit. But I felt great and I pushed through some pain that I didn’t think I could, and I feel better for it. I am stronger than I think and I was pleasantly surprised by my core strength. I know I am going to feel it in the morning and probably for a day or two or three, but that’s great because feeling it will mean I am still alive…And so my “Fifteen weeks to Fabulous” begins in earnest  and I’ll let you know all about the searing pain and trauma associated with my post workout body somewhere down the track when I have recovered…

Signiture name

You don’t have to be Famished to be Fabulous

Stop doing what doesn’t work!


My objection to the word EXERCISE has been noted several times this week, always linked to my complaint about how FAT I am, and how I can never be the weight that I want to be,… blah, blah, blah, boo hoo, woe is me etc.

I know I am not alone in this way of thinking, I have had several clients of late express their fear of the coming summer days. ‘What will I wear?’ ‘Oh no it’s Chub Rub time again.’ ‘And the sweat and chaffing…’

So, what is it that stops me from doing the things that I know would make a difference to my figure and therefore my level of satisfaction with regard to my body? You know, like… eat less, exercise more, rah rah rah!

The No. 1 thing that stops me getting what I want, strangely, is the thing that you might think would help drive me forward the most,… my vision of what’s possible. Normally a clear vision of what you want is inspiring…right? But the thing that actually gets in the way most is being totally attached to my goal weight and an ideal image, because they require more work than I am actually prepared to do. This leaves me miserable, riddled with guilt and feelings of failure.

I am not committed to my goals at all. And I am not alone. And right now is the time of year when we have to wear less clothes, which in my mind means EXPOSURE! I really do appreciate the layers of winter to cover the layers of me. It’s the time of year we start making resolutions and setting goals for the coming year (sometimes secretly) to lose the weight.

When we want to change something such as our weight we often apply the New Year’s resolution approach: We set a goal, we use willpower to move ourselves towards the goal. How effective is this approach in the long-run? In a 2007 study in the U.S. 3000 people were tracked while attempting to achieve a range of resolutions including losing weight, visiting the gym, quitting smoking, and drinking less. At the start of the study, 52% of participants were confident of success. One year later, only 12% actually achieved their goal.

Mind the GAP

There is a GAP between my attachment to the way I want to look and my commitment to taking the actions to get it. And that GAP is full of GUILT and SHAME, because what I say I want, and what I do about it, are not congruent.

What do I mean by the words COMMITTED and ATTACHED and how are they different?

Attachment looks something like this:
“Truth is, I am really attached to having a size 10 (Australian sizes) waist, hips and bum, then I will be sexy and attractive, only then I can feel good about myself.”

I have been there before, as a young woman, but not in the last 10 years. The last time I was that slim it took months of depriving myself of food on a strict Weight Watchers program, I lost 13 kgs back then and I put more than double that back on after my 3rd child over a period of about 10 years.

Whilst I know that I could actually get back to that weight and size again, I also know that it is quite impossible for me to be committed to taking this kind of extreme action. I don’t like depriving myself everyday and I don’t like the feelings of guilt every time I break the rules of my diet. It is like perpetual deprivation and punishment loop. It is not sustainable.

I recently tried the Fast Diet also known as the 5-2 diet with some great results, but it too felt like deprivation (I had massive headaches and couldn’t concentrate on my work) and after a couple of months everything plateaued and I lost focus and stagnated. My husband however has had brilliant results on the same program and it prompted me to investigate what was different for him. It turns out he had two things I just didn’t have. A realistic and sustainable vision of what was possible and a commitment to living rather than being thin.

Committed looks like:
“I am mindful of the choices I make with regard to food intake and movements. I choose sustainable options for my life, and I enjoy my food and exercise”

I know that many of my clients are dealing with the GAP in their lives in one form or another. And as a coach I think it is important to be able to stand by the things you say and believe. I believe that we can create LIVES WE LOVE. And so it is time, ‘to walk the talk’ as they say. And here I am armed with my new vision of a healthy, happy me, that is free of dieting for ever more. I am embarking on a journey with some short term goals which are aimed at building myself a sustainable lifestyle, loving my body and enjoying my food all the way through the silly season. I am calling this journey Fifteen Weeks to Fabulous and am going to share the juicy bits with you. This week I join a gym and get P.T. It totally goes against the grain, but I have decided I am no longer committed to being uncomfortable in this body. I am COMMITTED to being fit and energised. And the GAP between where I am now and what I’m committed to, doesn’t seem as huge as the one between where I’m at now and the vision I was attached to before, which when we really look at it, looked a lot like taller, blonder, thinner, younger and an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON.

blog-famished

Discovering The GAP – This is a journalling exercise that I did as part of working out what the gap was. I wanted the thin and slim quickly, attached to a vision of perfection. What I needed to consider was what I was prepared to put into loving myself thoughout a sustainable journey. (I created this on a 1965 copy of NEW IDEA)