Are you a warrior, a plunger or a toe dipper? Or are you a wader, a squealer or a shrieker? And how does this reflect your approach to taking business risks or being self expressed? Coaching can help you be a warrior.
Fighting my natural tendency to plunge head first into the deep end
I recently discovered that I was fighting my natural tendency to plunge head first into the deep end and was toe dipping instead. This I discovered was holding me back, big time.
Having been encouraged, told, cajoled and virtually pushed to take action I have continued to hide out and play it safe, despite knowing that what I really want is just a few steps away and that I have the skills to carry it off. Sound familiar?
Imagine after a long cold winter, that first really hot day, when the sun is bright and you suddenly find yourself all sweaty and bothered at the waters edge of the local pool. Taking a deep breath and smelling that icy cold water now.
The water like glass, sparkling in the sun. The surface unbroken, calm, blue and freshly inviting. Do you find your self dipping your toe to test your mettle? Is the water too cold?
Do you intuitively know that once you are in you are going to love the experience?
Do you intuitively know that once you are in you are going to love the experience? Are you cautious and wade in slowly, allowing your body to adjust to the water temp an inch at a time? Danger zones… First the crotch and then the nipples. Eeeak!
For as long as I can remember I have been a plunger and a leaper. I have always figured that just like ripping the Bandaid off quickly, it is better to get the pain and the shock over and done with and just get on with enjoying myself. Yes I admit it, quick gratification is my style. I like a direct line to quick satisfaction, chocolate wonderful, sugar fantastic, coffee glorious. Sweet powerful endorphin rushes. Mmmm…
When I was at high school I prided myself on not being one of ‘those girls’ (rolls eyes back into head) who crept to the waters edge still cloaked in her towel, only to squeal and squeak like a mouse as soon as a drop of water touched her skin. I laughed in the faces of ‘those girls’. I thought them wusses and called them chicken, scaredy cats and princesses. I was a brave warrior, scarred of nothing (nothing I would let them see) . I have always prided myself on being tough as steel. I was there to beat the boys into the water, thereby proving I could do anything they could, only better.
I realise now that I’m a toe dipping princess after all
But recently I realised that I was a toe dipping princess after all. Scared of something unseen and unnamed in the water, I was being overly cautious and running into the change rooms, squealing and flapping my arms about, still wrapped in my towel all before giving myself a chance to get wet, let alone sink or swim.
Business coaching improves your approach, gives courage and can determine your success in business, self expression, promotion and leadership.
Working with one of my coach colleagues yesterday in our regular mentors circle, I tackled that unnamed thing. My fear. Specifically my fear of being perceived as stupid, silly, ignorant, a dreamer and a fool.
A fear that my bathers will suddenly appear translucent
Quite unbelievably and irrationally I have been going against my natural tendency, choosing to be a wuss over and above doing a belly whacker, for fear that my bathers will suddenly appear translucent and I will be exposed as the terrified little girl I really am under all the bravado.
The BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious) is that the people I was hiding from and scared of embarrassing myself in front of are also standing beside the pool in varying degrees of nakedness, hesitation and anticipation. We have this in common and if I take time to notice their discomfort mine diminishes.
Fear lives inside shame
All metaphors aside, my fear lived inside the shame I had attached to self promotion. My fear of authentically sharing who I am and what I can do, in a business such as coaching this is a lonely and boring change room to hang out in, especially when others are having fun getting wet one way or another.
If you are unsure about how to take the plunge or how to even test the water, consider using the services of a credentialed coach such as myself. Drop me a line or give me a call and we can discuss how to get you courageously leaping into the things most important to you, and have you being a warrior in no time.